he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
