I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize