Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
