Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
