Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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