look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
