sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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