so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
