So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Drake has all the answers
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
