Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
