also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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