I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
