I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
