I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You peed on a flamingo?!?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
