I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
