just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
