I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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