I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize