When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
is it fun? or sober?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
