I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
