the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
