i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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