oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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