4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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