break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
