I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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