Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
