she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
