the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
