some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
