I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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