It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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