I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
