Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize