This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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