your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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