i think i have herpe
just one?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize