i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
