I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
