u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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