oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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