Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
