ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
