Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I am spending my child support on dildos
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
this boner is exhausting
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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