Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you inspire me to be a worse person
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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