We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
