Porn is love you can see.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Randomize
