Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
