I molested 6 butterflies tonight
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
