i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
