I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
