a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
