This is not my ceiling
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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