I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
