she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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