Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
