I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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