Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
