I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
