That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It's never too late to be topless.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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